InfantRefluxDisease.com (aka GERDling) Theme Songs

(All to the tune of Barney)
Puke gag choke
puke gag choke
It always feels like there's food in my throat

Here's a great big hurl
and now I think I'll scream
hold me all night so I can dream.
  ~ Written by Minnie

I can't sleep
my Mom makes me eat
my breath smells like funky feet!

Here's a great big grunt
and now I have to swallow
I think I'll do this for at least another hour.
  ~ Written by Minnie

I hate food
it hates me
I'm as fussy as I can be

with a great big retch
that will land on me and you
won't you say you hate GERD too?
  ~ Written By Karen

My throat hurts
hear me scream
I don't puke so mom stays clean

with an arch and a squirm
and a cough all over you
won't you say you hate GERD too?
  ~ Written By Karen

I feed you
You throw up
It seems you will never swallow it up

With a burp and a belch
And an enormous spew

It lands on both me and you.
 ~ Written By Leigh

Sung to "Itsy Bitsy Spider"

The itsy bitsy spoon went up to the baby's mouth
out came the food and spewed upon my blouse
up came his hands and swatted it away
and the itsy bitsy spoon went in the drawer for another day.
 ~ Written By Emily

Pukey Prose

Whatcha doing?
Whatcha chewing?
What's that nasty stuff you're spewing?
Grab a burpcloth! Grab the Maalox!
Damn, there's spit up on those toy blocks...
and there's vomit on that rattle
Time to start the mopping battle.
Just this once it might be nice
to not be cleaning lunch up...
TWICE.
  ~ Written by Sarah B

Green Eggs and Ham...Reflux Style

I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them, Mom-I-am
I will not eat them with a spoon
I will not eat them before noon
I will not eat them with Maalox
Instead, I’ll puke them on your socks

I do not like green eggs and ham
My food aversion makes you say “Damn!”
You cannot make me eat them EVER
I bet you and Daddy think you’re clever
Hiding in milk, applesauce and juice
No wonder my daily stools are loose

I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not eat them with toast and jam

You cannot make me eat this slop
Uh oh, you’d better get the mop
Wet burps and hiccups, every day
So this is life the reflux way

I do not like green eggs and ham
Not even with meds dosed by the gram
I will not eat them in a bottle
My Ped GI you’d like to throttle
I hope I hit that “6-month peak”
Today, tomorrow or by next week!
 ~ Written by Aim

A HAIKU - REFLUX STYLE

Puke, poo everywhere
Dirty sheets, stench in the air
Shampoo crusty hair
 ~ Written By Lesley

I ATE A LITTLE FOOD

I ate a little food today
It tasted good, and yet
I wish that food and I
Had never, ever met.

Though I longed for a little food today
To satisfy my taste
This little bit of food I ate
Was only good for paste.
 ~ Written By Leigh