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Murphy's Laws of GERD PDF Print E-mail
Sunday, 30 March 2008 13:28
  • All appointments with specialists will have a six week waiting list, minimum.
  • The sicker your child is, the longer the wait will be.
  • At your GI appointment, your child will invariably be alert, smiling and happy. He/ she won’t even get the hiccups.
  • The corollary to # 3 is: When relatives come to visit, your child will smile, blow raspberries, drink their bottle and sleep through the night for the first time EVER, prompting your family to say: “I don’t see what the problem is. I think you’re just overly concerned.”
  • You will run out of Prevacid just after your pharmacy has closed for a three day weekend.
  • When visiting a feeding therapist for the first time, your child will obediently open his/ her mouth when a spoonful of baby food is presented.
  • No matter the time of day or how many doctors are available, all ER’s have a five hour wait, minimum.
  • Your ER doctor will always be an intern. He will refer to your child’s copious vomit as “spit up”. He will ask you if you’ve added a new food to your child’s diet, ignoring the chart which says your child does not eat. He will inform you (condescendingly) that you must remember to keep your child upright after meals.
  • If you are admitted to the hospital for FTT, the first thing your nurse will say is “Really? But he/she looks so healthy!”
  • The nicer the outfit, the more colorful and voluminous the vomit will be. If your child will be getting professional portraits, the vomit will soak him/her to the skin.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 31 March 2008 17:10 )
 

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Site Last Modified: April 2009
*Disclaimer:The information available on this website should not be used as a substitute for professional medical care for the prevention, diagnosis, or treatment of your child's reflux. Please consult with your child's doctor or pharmacist before trying any medication (prescription or OTC) or following any treatment plan mentioned. This information is provided only to help you be as informed as possible about your child's condition.