You know how it is when you have one hour of therapy per week. Your
child might be tired or even napping, coming down with a cold, or
just plain old crabby and not willing to work with the therapist.
The hour comes and goes – with maybe ten minutes of productive
therapy.
But what if someone could teach you, the parent, how to
be an effective therapist for your child?
That’s exactly the premise of It Takes Two to Talk, The Hanen
Program for Parents – an eight-week course that teaches parents how
to best communicate with their children and have more, and more
meaningful, interactions with them.
Started in the 1970s in Canada – where it’s required that parents
take this course before receiving any other speech services for
their child – the Hanen program seems, on the surface, to be all
about common sense, but its methods help you recognize your child’s
strengths and interests, adapt what you learn to their needs, and
utilize your new skills in everyday activities.
Getting started: Before our first session, our Hanen-certified
speech and language pathologist (SLP) came to our home and
videotaped Daniel and me while we played and read a book. Even
though we could hear him chatting and singing in his room while I
spoke to the SLP downstairs, he only used about five words during
the half-hour video session.
Class one: At our first class, we reviewed snippets of that tape,
as well as those of the three other children of the parents in the
class, and then we identified our child’s stage of communication.
Daniel was at the highest level – a combiner, meaning he can put
together a string of words – but when we determined our child’s
communication style, I realized he is a reluctant communicator,
which is why I rarely get many words out of him.
Then we moved on to some communication skills that seemed
incredibly basic and obvious – observe (what your child is
interested in, what he’s trying to tell you), wait (give your child
time to start an interaction, give him time to respond), and listen
(so you understand your child’s message, so he knows what he’s
saying is important) – or OWL. However, after watching myself on
tape, I could see I was missing even these basic points when it came
to communicating with Daniel.
The session, and every session, was rounded out with video clips
of other families employing these basic but important skills, did
some role playing, and do-at-home plans we wrote ourselves.
Class two: The next week, we learned about parent roles that
inhibit communication (I discovered I’m a tester, always asking
Daniel what color something is or what noise an animal makes, and a
helper, always jumping in to make things works rather than letting
him figure things out or ask for help) and concentrated on creating
opportunities for communication. Again, their advice seemed like
common sense, but it helped me immensely to hear that I needed to
let Daniel take the lead. When he showed an interest in something, I
needed to respond immediately and join in and play. And when he did
verbalize something, I should respond by imitating him, interpreting
his message, or commenting on our activity.
Videotaping nightmare: The following week, class was replaced by
a videotaping session. And ours didn’t go very well. I was
concentrating so much on remembering to observe, wait, listen,
comment, interpret, and so on that I completely forgot to act
naturally and simply play with Daniel. We sat at the kitchen table
with Play Doh, and Daniel did not say a single word. But once we
finished taping, he spotted a bug and jabbered for a few minutes
straight about how there was a bug under that chair, that I should
get a napkin and squish it, and then throw it in the garbage. It was
very telling.
Class three: We reviewed our videos, and nobody was too proud of
their performance. But, that’s OK, we still had lots to learn.
That night, our SLPs gave us permission to start asking questions
again – but not as a tester. Instead we learned how to use questions
to keep conversations going. We also learned how to build more
communication into everyday routines using the SPARK method (start
the routine the same way every time, plan your child’s turn, adjust
the routine as needed, repeat the same actions/sounds/words each
time, keep the end the same).
Class four: This week, we determined our child’s levels of
understanding and expression and how to expand their use of
language. We learned to start by using the same word for the same
thing but then to add words, giving your child two- or three-word
combinations. For example, if your child is playing with her teddy
bear and says “bear,” depending on her skill levels, you might add a
descriptive word (“brown bear”) or a feelings word (“happy bear’).
You are adding to your child’s understanding and vocabulary even if
they’re not yet able to say a phrase.
Class five: At this session, we focused on setting goals
(realistic, useful, and specific goals) and how to reach them. And
we prepared for our next videotaping session. I decided Daniel and I
would sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” while sitting on the rocking
footstool. It’s something he enjoys (well, it’s the tipping over he
enjoys), I play along, it’s a routine for which I can use the SPARK
method, and I’m able to introduce new words (capsize, paddle, swim,
sing loud, sing slow) as we play. And so I set my goal: to get
Daniel to sing along 75 percent of the time.
Videotaping success: This time, we really did well. We didn’t
have a promising start. He said, “No!” and put his hand over my
mouth when I started the song… but then he sang all by himself three
times in a row. Next he ran into his room to play with his garage.
He used the tow truck that actually fit in the garage, so I grabbed
a giant dump truck. Seeing that there was no way my truck would fit
in the garage or up the ramp, Daniel kept saying, “No, no, no” and I
continued to ask, “Why not? What’s wrong with my truck?” Finally, he
burst out with “It’s too heavy, Mom!”
It was another breakthrough for me. I discovered that I could get
my boy to talk a lot more if I was being silly. Or annoying.
Class six: This week, we learned about the three types of play
(functional – such as pushing a car, constructive – building with
blocks, and pretend – feeding a baby doll), our child’s stage of
play development, and how to best incorporate the communication
skills we’d learned into playtime. My do-at-home plan was to have
Daniel ask for and offer me foods from his play kitchen.
Class seven: Did you know you don’t have to read every page in a
book? It seems I had a lot to learn about books. This week we
learned which kind of book is best for our child based on his level
of understanding (which is generally higher than their level of
communication). As a combiner, Daniel should enjoy books with
real-life themes, simple stories, interaction, and predictable
patterns or rhythms. And we reconsidered the way read books to our
kids (face to face is better than on your lap, why not skip to your
child’s favorite page, and slow down and give your child time to
comment on a page).
Videotaping and reading: For our last videotaping session, we
were to make reading books with our child more of a conversation.
Daniel and I were mildly successful. We already had a few books that
elicit lots of comments from him, so we tried something new, “The
Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog” by Mo Willems. Daniel listened attentively
through the entire book without saying much at all. And then we got
to the end page, with its repeated hot dog drawings. I asked Daniel
which hot dog they’d shared, and we suddenly had a whole
conversation about breaking hot dogs in half and sharing, and
finally he pretended to hand me a hot dog and said, “Enjoy!”
Class eight – the grand finale: At this session, we learned how
to use our new communication skills in conjunction with music.
Because music is repetitive, is easy to remember, and often involves
hand motions, it’s a great way to help children with language. We
learned to make up our own songs and use them to help with routines
your child finds difficult.
Our instructors also created CDs for us that incorporated all of
our videotaping sessions, and – wow – it was easy to see that Daniel
had come a long way. We still have moments, especially when he’s
angry or upset, when he points and whines instead of talking to me,
but we have many more conversations and I see him talking to his
peers more and more as well. For us, the 24 hours I spent in class
translated into round-the-clock, tailored-just-for-Daniel speech
therapy.
NOTE: I took the Hanen course though our public school system’s
Child Find program. You may want to ask your local school or early
intervention services if they offer the Hanen program.
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The Hanen Program textbook is It Takes Two to Talk by Jan Pepper and
Elaine Weitzman. Visit the
Hanen website for more information.
